The final insult
The Springboks are expecting gracious favour from Lady Luck, God and the Highveld hoodoo but none of these intangibles will be enough to prevent another historic Australian win.
Slim chances of re-entering the Tri-Nations race evaporated with the capitulation at Kings Park, and there’s been subsequent talk about how this Ellis Park fixture is an opportunity to regain some pride. But what if the Boks fall to Australia on the Highveld for the first time since 1963? That would be the final insult. It would complete the plummet from champs to chumps in less than 10 months.
Keo.co.za looks at several reasons why Robbie Deans’s tourists will head back Down Under on a high.
BATTERY TAKES IT’S TOLL
Another week, another casualty. It’s a phrase that be will used to describe the Boks’ 2008 Tri-Nations campaign in years to come (as well as a few less-than-kind adjectives). The disaster in Durban cost South Africa another first-choice winger in JP Pietersen, a loss that comes just a week after Bryan Habana bowed out with a hamstring tear. CJ van der Linde has been banned for four weeks and will also be missed in a tight clash. For a side that’s already struggling, it’s almost unfair to expect the reserves to gel with the incumbents, let alone provide gamewinning touches.
The Aussies’ appeal of Rocky Elsom’s ban proved successful allowing the blindsider to hold onto his starting position. The Wallabies midfield looks no less formidable with Timana Tahu replacing the injured Berrick Barnes. The tourists may have lost lock Dan Vickerman but it is the hosts who are the more depleted and deflated outfit.
KICKING CHAOS
While it’s tempting to get stuck into those less-than-kind adjectives and phrases, it’s best to look at Peter de Villiers’s own errant slurs when it comes to tactical kicking. De Villiers assumed the Aussies had an inferior tactical kicking game ahead of that Kings Park Test, but Matt Giteau went on to break the Boks with his well-weighted chips behind the defence. Aside from Tahu, every member of the visiting backline has a healthy boot and the back three is strengthened in this area by the return of Adam Ashley-Cooper.
De Villiers has ignored last week’s result and picked two wingers not known for their kicking prowess, ditto the centres. Conrad Jantjes has the goods, but has failed to deliver in this vein in 2008, and the same goes for Butch James and Fourie du Preez. Why wasn’t Percy Montgomery selected for a match that is bound to see plenty of tactical kicking? A back three of Montgomery, Jantjes and Jongi Nokwe provides more balance in this regard.
BREAKDOWN WAUGH
Rumour has it he’s been locked in a dark cellar for seven days and fed on nothing but small scraps of meat, but Deans has finally decided to unleash the rabid force that is Phil Waugh. George Smith earns a break ahead of the Wallabies’ more important fixture in Brisbane, and so Waugh gets an opportunity to show the new coach what he can do with a start.
The problem with the South African back row is their failure to fire as a unit, and the persistence with Pierre Spies and the axing of Joe van Niekerk could prove costly. Elsom’s beat the law and you’d expect him to produce another big performance at the tackle point, and watch out for another prominent breakdown beast in Tatafu Polota-Nau.
SET-PIECE SCRAP
The scrumming was a positive for the Boks last week, but the problems at lineout time cannot be ignored. There was talk about the Aussie jumpers encroaching on the Boks’ side, but you’d expect experienced players like Victor Matfield and Juan Smith to rise above this sort of pressure. Hugh McMeniman and Elsom will look to spoil South African ball and James Horwill is one of the most underrated players in the Aussie side. They’ll miss Vickerman, but another bumbling Bok showing in this area will make their jobs a whole lot easier.
Prediction: It’ll be a sad end to a disappointing tournament for the world champions. Although they’ve been hit by numerous injuries, they will lament their own mistakes and perhaps finally admit that the current approach is flawed. Australia by 5.
Springboks – 15 Conrad Jantjes, 14 Odwa Ndungane, 13 Adrian Jacobs, 12 Jean de Villiers, 11 Jongi Nokwe, 10 Butch James, 9 Fourie du Preez, 8 Pierre Spies, 7 Juan Smith, 6 Schalk Burger, 5 Victor Matfield (c), 4 Andries Bekker, 3 Brian Mujati, 2 Bismarck du Plessis, 1 Beast Mtawarira.
Subs: 16 Adriaan Strauss, 17 Jannie du Plessis, 18 Danie Rossouw, 19 Luke Watson, 20 Ricky Januarie, 21 Ruan Pienaar, 22 Percy Montgomery.
Australia - 15. Adam Ashley-Cooper, 14. Peter Hynes, 13. Stirling Mortlock (c), 12. Timana Tahu, 11. Lote Tuqiri, 10. Matt Giteau, 9. Sam Cordingley, 8. Wycliff Palu, 7. Phil Waugh, 6. Rocky Elsom, 5. Hugh McMeniman, 4. James Horwill, 3. Matt Dunning, 2. Tatafu Polota-Nau, 1. Benn Robinson
Subs: 16. Stephen Moore, 17. Al Baxter, 18. Dean Mumm, 19. George Smith, 20. Brett Sheehan, 21. Ryan Cross, 22. Drew Mitchell.
By Jon Cardinelli
August 29th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Jack ‘n Jill
went up the hill
Each with R1.25
Jill came down with R2.50….*****.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
#938 WP Till I Die:
Like hell
I am the chameleon in the Smartie box.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
#940 Rugby_Princess:
John and Mary went down to the dairy
John flopped out his long and hairy
Mary said gee what a whopper
lets get down and do it proper
arooo aroooo
3 months later all was well
6 months later she began to swell
9 months later there became a grunt
3 little runts came out of her c##@
arooo arooo
August 29th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
There was a young man named Dave
who found a dead wh ore in a cave
if he’d built up the pluck
to have a good phfuk
just think of the money he’d save.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
KP Pietersen lbw b Kallis 5 (7b 0×4 0×6) SR: 71.42 155/4
Bye bye KP
August 29th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
#953 poppa69:
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
“What have you got there?”
Said the pie man to Simple Simon,
“Pies, you d*ckhead!”
August 29th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Little Boy Blue
….’cos he needed the money.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
A dwarf with a speech impedement went to see a horse for sale and asked if he could see it twat. He got smacked by the owner. When he came round he said to the owner……..let me rephrase that……..can I see her wun awound a widdle bit.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
#940 Rugby_Princess:
Mary’s a ****.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
#955 EEE: Bye bye Blackbird?
August 29th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
#943 zeitgeist:
Militainment! Big storm coming. Must be prepared.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
nee magtag, nou raak dit te rof hier!
August 29th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
#948 vindicated:
What is oz flour and caster sugar?
August 29th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
#953 poppa69: Marked as offensive
August 29th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
#959 WP Till I Die: Mary had a little lamb in her backyard…
when she took her panties off
his little woolly **** got hard.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
People people people, I am struggling to keep a straight face here at work…..open plan governmental office, not many with a sense of humor here…..and I am struggling!!!!!!!
August 29th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
#948 vindicated: go forth and fornicate.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
#956 Rugby_Princess:
Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its @rse
And turned its wool to nylon.
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too cause he was ***
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
And grabbed her ***
Now two of his teeth are missing.
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it’s black and crispy.
Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can’t keep his heart rate down
And she’s got diabetes.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
#946 WP Till I Die: Gibberish!!!
August 29th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
#950 Rugby_Princess:
No RP, still lying in the rack. I’m certainly not going to be drinking it to celebrate any T3 nations win, maybe when gamonhead resigns as coach
August 29th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
There once was a blogger called vindi
He lika to smoka da pindi
when going got tough
as always with this stuff
he’d go to the parties too
where he’d know there was a petting zoo.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
#959 WP Till I Die:
But only on Fridays
August 29th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
#968 poppa69: Poppa what are you on?
August 29th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
I know a bear that you don’t know…Yogi, Yogi
I know a bear that you don’t know, Yogi, Yogi Bear
Yogi has a girlfriend…Cindy, Cindy
Yogi has a girlfriend…Cindy, Cindy Bear
Cindy uses whips and chains…Grizzly, Grizzly
Cindy uses whips and chains…Grizzly, Grizzly Bear
Yogi uses condoms…Cautious, Cautious
Yogi uses condoms…Cautious, Cautious Bear
Cindy puts a hole in them…Naughty, Naughty
Cindy puts a hole in them…Naughty, Naughty Bear
Yogi does it on the fridge…Polar, Polar
Yogi does it on the fridge, Polar, Polar Bear
Yogi’s has a cheesy d!ck, Camem, Camem
Yogi has a cheesy d!ck, Camem, Camem Bear
Yogi’s member’s long and green, Cucum, Cucum
Yogi’s member’s long and green, Cucum, Cucum Bear
Yogi knows Zimbabwe’s phucked…Mugah, Mugah
Yogi knows Zimbabwe’s phucked, Mugah, Mugah Bear
August 29th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
#972 Rugby_Princess: Why do you talk to me when I am WPTID but not when I am Ethel?
August 29th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Van walks into a bar in London and espies a beautiful brunette on a bar stool.
He wanders over and asks her if she’d like a drink, she says no.
After he has turned away he thinks no hang on a minute.
He says to the brunette, all I asked is would you like a drink, I’m quite a good looking guy and have money etc, why the refusal.
She says “I’m a lesbian”
Van says “whats that”
She says “see that blonde down the end of the bar” Van says “yes”
She says “well I’d like to take all her clothes off and ravish her”.
Van walks away sits at the bar and orders a beer.
An Aussie sitting next to him says “I can hear from your accent that you’re a South African, is that right” Van says “well….I also thought I was….but I think I’m a lesbian.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
#973 Ethel: 12 hour shift at work, got to keep the mind amused
A man called home to his wife and said, “?Honey?I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada ? with my boss & several of his Friends?.?
We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that Promotion I’ve been wanting, so could you please pack enough Clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we’re Leaving From the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up” ?
“?Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas. ?”?
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.?
The following Weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. ?
The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish??
He said, “Yes! Lots of Salmon, some Bluegill, and a few Swordfish. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to Do?” ?
You’ll love the answer… ?
The wife replied, ” I did. They’re in your fishing box?…”?
August 29th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
there was a team like custard
just couldnt cut the mustard
on tours they went
a win an event
half the team always BUSTED!
August 29th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
#972 Rugby_Princess: If I register another nic will you talk to me? I have been kicked off because of you…
August 29th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
#961 Dawn: is there a storm coming tonight/ tomorrow here?
August 29th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
#966 EEE: Department:Environmental Affairs and Development PLanning
Provincial Government of the Western Cape. Do you work over here?
August 29th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
#970 whatever:
I think the return policy will kick in shortly … hang on while I check the fine print …
August 29th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
#978 rangerman:
Vinnie is devastated.
August 29th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
#967 sondebok: go fornicate yourself
August 29th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
hi dawnie
August 29th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
There was a team of yellows
With many onbeskofte fellows
They went out on the town
Joe Roff he got down
And showed off his butt made of Jello
August 29th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
#981 iori Yagami: You sound like someone I know studying at the Peninsula Technikon!
August 29th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Dear wife:
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever.. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want *** or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me oryou don’t love me anymore; whatever! the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.. It’s true you & I have been marrie d for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & ; I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.
I hope that’s not a problem.
August 29th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
#976 4man:
The English rugby team are touring South Africa. One of their tests takes place in Bloemfontein. The team are socialising during the middle of the week at a Bloemfontein pub, when one of the English players is approached by one of the local “ladies of the night”.
POPPIE: Hallo, hoe gaan dit met jou, mooi man?
ENGLISMAN: Terribly sorry, I can only speak English.
POPPIE: Oh, okes, I can be like to speak a bit of English too
ENGLISHMAN: Oh really? How much?
POPPIE: Two hundred.
August 29th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
#982 Rugby_Princess:
Yeah, maybe you are right. I was waiting for a good sporting moment to celebrate. Dunedin looks like my lost oportunity, certainly no olympic or cricket help at the moment either. Stuff it……….I’ll crack it when Winston resigns………..
August 29th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
#982 Rugby_Princess: Sweeness, applepie, custard slice, vetkoek (oops you don’t know that one, but Dawn will explain), Koeksister (need help here too), am I forgiven… I won’t say all those things you reported me for again! I promise!
August 29th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
#986 Dawn:
the team of custard canaries
they pranced like a bunch of fairies
but one drunken fellow
saw the taxi was yellow
and whipped out his round and hairies.
August 29th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down behind a log. “My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.” The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush. “My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf.” Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. About a half mile down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock. “My what big teeth you have, Mr. Wolf.” With that the wolf jumps up and screams, “Will you just b*gger off and let me have a sh*t in peace !
August 29th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
i want it!
August 29th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
#989 WP Till I Die:
August 29th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
#989 WP Till I Die:
and cheap at the price.
August 29th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
100 virrie bokke!!!!
August 29th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
#987 Ethel: Shocked face!! I did study at Pentech in 2006 and 2007 but this year I am at Cape Tech!
August 29th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
#980 zeitgeist:
Apparently
August 29th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
The storm that was supposedly heading Pretoria’s way is appparently no more of factor.
Earlier indications suggested that it may be upgraded to a category 6 storm after the the injury of Brok, has now been confirmed that due to high pressure systems and complete implosion of internal forces we are looking a a nice and light breeze in a North Easternly direction. Loftus should be cool, pleasant and entertaining if you are a Blue Bull supporter tonight.