And the winners are …
2 Dec 2009
Keo.co.za picks the real winners and losers of 2009.
THE HEROES
Test Player of the Year – How the IRB overlooked Fourie du Preez for their Player of the Year award in favour of Richie McCaw is perplexing. He was the fulcrum around which the Springboks rotated in the British & Irish Lions series and in the Tri-Nations. Seven of the nine judges are from the northern hemisphere, where the All Blacks are revered, while selection convenor John Eales is known to be anti-Bok. Testament to this is that he wanted Juan Martin Hernandez named World Player of the Year in 2007 ahead of the irrepressible Bryan Habana. Thankfully sanity prevailed that time, but it seems he has had his revenge. Despite the unbelievable call, Du Preez should be content in the knowledge that we think he’s the business. That’s all that matters. Victor Matfield was phenomenal and Heinrich Brüssow established himself as the finest openside flank on the planet in 2009, but Du Preez’s consistent brilliance earns him the prize.
Test Rookie of the Year – Who else but the prolific Morné Steyn. One should never underestimate the mental strength it took for him to come off the bench in the second Lions Test, have a short while to settle, then kick a 50m series-winning penalty to banish 12 years of heartache. He then carried his form into the Tri-Nations and showed that he had the aptitude to not only survive, but excel, against the world’s best players.
Test Young Gun of the Year – Since his rise to prominence in 2008, Dewald Potgieter had Springbok written all over him. He resembles a rookie Schalk Burger – bustling, powerful and fearless – and looks the natural successor to the Springbok treasure. His debut against Ireland was too brief to establish his capacity to play at Test level, but he’ll get more opportunities in future, and will develop into one of the great Springboks. Francois Hougaard didn’t show the full range of his ability on tour, but be assured, he is a quality scrumhalf, one who Fourie du Preez has tipped to succeed him.
Mighty Mouse Award – The physique of a juiced-up dwarf but the heart the size of South Africa and wonderful skills to boot – Heinrich Brüssow turned in some sensational performances in 2009. When he was burning white hot he was unstoppable, and even when he was ordinary he still made his presence felt, particularly at the breakdown. By the end of the season, the France and Ireland players couldn’t stop talking about him as the primary threat, which bears testament to the telling impact he’s made in 2009. Schalk who? Nah, kidding, but if Brüssow is anywhere near as good as he was this season in 2010, there may not be so much jest to that statement when you read this awards piece next year.
Test Try of the Year – Jaque Fourie’s two-fingered salute to the Springbok coaching staff for omitting him from the starting line-up against the Lions. He came on, as a wing, and negotiated a number of defenders en route to the try that dragged the Springboks back into the contest, and ultimately saw them go on to win the series. Brilliant.
Coach of the Year – John Smit held the Springboks together and even made the substitution calls during the second Test after the coaching staff’s ‘mare at King’s Park. Read between the lines of his book and you’ll reach the same conclusion: without Smitty, the Boks are on auto-pilot.
With special mentions to: The Springbok Sevens side for winning their first ever title.
THE VILLAINS
The Foot in Mouth Award – He’s toned it down over the last six months, but the king retains his crown purely for the madcap utterances during the Lions series. From allusions to ballet to eye-gouging lions on the highveld, Peter de Villiers entertained as much as he embarrassed.
The Sultans of Spin – The British and Irish media for dubbing the Lions tour a resounding success despite a 2-1 scoreline in favour of the Boks. Those who are interested should visit their local newsagent for a look at tour books written by respected journalists that unequivocally claim the Lions so nearly won the series 3-0. Laughable.
The Wet Nappy Whinge Award – This accolade goes to a player referred to by some Boks as ‘The Wanker of the Tour’. Mike Phillips niggled on the field and was the sorest of losers off it after the Lions went down in Pretoria.
The Brain Explosion Award – Sireli Naqelevuki for his high-tackle in the dying seconds of the Currie Cup semi-final. When will he prove worth the money and effort Province produced to extract him from Fiji?
With special mention to: The IRB Awards panel – Honestly, what were you drinking when you named Richie McCaw the Player of the Year? He missed half the Tri-Nations through injury and was captain of a Crusaders side that bowed out in the Super 14 semi-finals. Fourie du Preez and Brian O’Driscoll were the only players in this race.
Worst boots-to-performance ratio - The most impressive thing about Lote Tuqiri’s rugby these days is his flashy boots.
Dirtiest attempt at a moustache – Matt Giteau’s was pretty gross and Drew Mitchell won’t keep any photos of his, but the dirtiest Movember effort goes to Corey Jane.
By Jon Cardinelli and Ryan Vrede
326 Comments
Pages: « 1 2 3 4 5 [6] 7 » Show All
2 Dec 2009, 21:20 pm
@Slappes: I have never heard of Jimmy Abbot but he appears to be a rather porky baseball player!!
2 Dec 2009, 21:24 pm
Carol, he was a wrestler actually.
Soda needs a workout.
2 Dec 2009, 21:25 pm
ciao guys… need to clear out my school bag…
2 Dec 2009, 21:28 pm
hell, now we have some patent attorneys … wondrous.
the whole point of a patent is that you can reproduce it, but lets not get in the way of the artistry.
moreover, we can clone anything, yes including you special ones and even lukey himself.
bless the lord.
bullshitters unite
2 Dec 2009, 21:28 pm
See ya Saartjie!
2 Dec 2009, 21:33 pm
Cab, cloning is patented?
2 Dec 2009, 21:35 pm
@Slappes:
nah, cant be.
2 Dec 2009, 21:36 pm
Cab, does Jimmy Sodajoe Abbot take out a patent on his hairstyle?
2 Dec 2009, 21:37 pm
@carol:
jimmy abbot indeed soda is babe ruth…
2 Dec 2009, 21:38 pm
@Slappes:
lol, jimmy was horrendous.
is he still around?
at ellis he’d span about 3 seats.
2 Dec 2009, 21:43 pm
I am Jimmy Abbott’s evil twin.
2 Dec 2009, 21:43 pm
Cab, not sure but he did fill ellis park. Gunther
remember leon schuster getting klapped in Boksburg!
2 Dec 2009, 21:45 pm
Sodajoe, Carol reckons you need to lose weight mate.
2 Dec 2009, 21:47 pm
I married Wahl Bartman’s sister.
I was the anonymous bidder for Mark Spitz’s speedo.
Be very afraid.
2 Dec 2009, 21:48 pm
@Slappes: She’s never wrong that wee duck.
So have we all made peace with the universe yet, or are we still on a mission of death, destruction and self-pity?
2 Dec 2009, 21:50 pm
Wahl was one of the greats.
now thats a proper legend, head down, charge.
2 Dec 2009, 21:53 pm
I have some good news for everyone.
I went to see the end of the world movie 2012 with my son, and don’t worry everybody.
After all the apocalyptic chaos, the only place left standing is Cape Town. So you’re all good.
Cab, for you, the survivors get there by boat, so you are good to go. Don’t let Skoppie scare you.
Now I just have to navigate Invictus without looking like a crybaby.
2 Dec 2009, 21:53 pm
@husky: #222
“Also the skoppie clones will never acknowledge that PDV fluffed 2008 TN”
Some people on this site, the anti-PdV brigade still have not, and probably never will, acknowledge that the winning of the Lions and 3Nations series this year, was PdV’s doing.
Are you one of them?
@Transformation: #226
“When he hurried me across the road I did tell him that he needed to walk away once he’d won the World Cup.”
A few weeks ago he bitched about the fact that JW was not appointed after winning the WC. This week in his column he is promoting him as DOR.
Something is wrong with this chap.
2 Dec 2009, 21:54 pm
@cab: 7 okes on his back.
Either he was much faster than we thought, or he had the positional sense of a bat, coz he was always there.
2 Dec 2009, 21:56 pm
@SodaJoe:
lol, i;ll try not too.
what is invictus?
2 Dec 2009, 21:56 pm
Soda
clifton10 would outbid you. Wahl had a sister? What sports did she do – wrestling? 
2 Dec 2009, 22:03 pm
@Slappes: Wikepedia tells me Jimmy Abbott is a one handed baseball player!!
Wrestling would be tricky with one hand!!
@SodaJoe: Congratulations Soda Joe…..you are a winner in my book.
Now have to decide the game of the year…that I actually saw in person…
Contenders: 6 Nations Final- Wales v Ireland
1st Lions Test
2nd Lions Test
Mmmmm, off to the pub to think about this one!
2 Dec 2009, 22:05 pm
poor whal fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down..
2 Dec 2009, 22:07 pm
@cab: Invictus is the Clint Eastwood directed movie about the 1995 Rugby World Cup and how it united a nation. Morgan Freeman plays Mandela, and Matt Damon plays Francois Pienaar.
It is touted as an Oscar winner.
And guaranteed to make me blub.
2 Dec 2009, 22:08 pm
@Slappes: She just wrestles with me now. Bless.
2 Dec 2009, 22:09 pm
@carol: Lions Second Test had it all.
But I would use the discourse as a worthy reason to go to the pub.
2 Dec 2009, 22:09 pm
@Slappes:
a lot of people get klapped in boksburg…its a form of greeting for them…
2 Dec 2009, 22:09 pm
@gunther: Hey now.
2 Dec 2009, 22:10 pm
@gunther: Only the head butt. The rest is too ***.
2 Dec 2009, 22:12 pm
@SodaJoe:
LOL – you get choked up about the 95 RWC?
Amazing what they can do with those actors, saw a trailer and midget matt does not do too bad a job of FP it seems?
saw a show on stephen fry driving a taxi through montanna, wyoming and nebraska – very beautiful country around you actually.
2 Dec 2009, 22:14 pm
@SodaJoe:
ah the glasgow kiss….
2 Dec 2009, 22:18 pm
so nou ja mense.
2 Dec 2009, 22:19 pm
@nama1: LMAO…i know, i chuckle everytime i stumble upon some of his gems from way back!
Keo is one two-faced, fawning leprechaun…one thing i know though, if i was ever in business with him i would never trust him, it would only be business from an arms length, i hope saki macozoma & moss ngoasheng know the kind of chap their COO is over there @ HSM….
2 Dec 2009, 22:20 pm
@Transformation:
ah so saki and moss are the big boys?
2 Dec 2009, 22:20 pm
Gunther, Ja ou maat Boksburg is nie vir sussies nie. Hier klap ons jou reg en as jy nog staan moer ons jou met die wheelspanner.
2 Dec 2009, 22:30 pm
I am sure that everybody has been waiting for me rectify Keo’s twisted reality brought on by their delusional assumptions of grandeur. Ladies and gentleman herewith the awards
THE HEROES
Player of the Year – How the IRB overlooked Luke Watson for their Player of the Year award in favour of Richie McCaw is perplexing. He remains a Hero to the majority of south Africans as well as the less prejudiced rugby Fraternity
Rookie of the Year – Who else but the prolific Ashley Johnson. He is the first utility forward that can play in every position except Lock. Mapoe cam a close second
Young Gun of the Year – Definitely Juan Dejongh. Find of the year and competes with Ashley Johnson for the Rookie of the year
Mighty Mouse Award – This award without a doubt goes to Gio Aplon for his spear tackle on Victor Matfield
Try of the Year – Juan De Jongh takes this one again. His ability to find a try line through a crowded defence is phenomenal. His try against Sarries was special.
Coach of the Year – Paul Treu with PDV second. The record speaks for itself. While Keo believes that this should go to John Smit it has now become evident his first choice was in fact Jake White who supposedly impersonated **** Muir and infiltrated the boks to take charge of the team.
THE VILLAINS
The Foot in Mouth Award – Mark Keohane. How wrong is this twat with everything
The Sultans of Spin – Keo.co.za. These idiots still believe in an all white springbok team and spared nothing to illuminate average white players
The Wet Nappy Whinge Award – THis again has to be shared by the Keo Journo’s.
The Brain Explosion Award – The IRB rules committee . They reintroduced the maul to kill off the incentive to score tries
Worst boots-to-performance ratio – Frans Steyn Can kick 60 meters but knows fkall else about the game
Dirtiest attempt at a moustache – WTF has this got to do with rugby but then again trust the twats at Keo to come up with this kak.
Thank you all for reading
Shaun
2 Dec 2009, 22:31 pm
@cab: you bet, they’re the Safika in Highbury Safika Media…keo’s BEE partners, his “transformation” manne.
2 Dec 2009, 22:39 pm
@Langenhoven:
Do people read insignificant racist drivel from a delusional man who has bloated his self worth in his own eyes beyond the size of his mirror?
2 Dec 2009, 22:44 pm
288. whatever… Insignificant racist??..LMAO Fkofffff.. Remember that you are Exkreni’s no one supporter and that twat has openly declared himself to be a racist idiot.. Me thinks you are delusional too
2 Dec 2009, 22:46 pm
Be back in 30 minutes
2 Dec 2009, 22:47 pm
@Transformation:
so the real power is with the black manne?
strange thing, money.
2 Dec 2009, 22:51 pm
@Langenhoven:
Who cares what you think? Thats what you don’t seem to be able to grasp. Insignificant is the operative word. Bloated self opinion is the operative phrase.
2 Dec 2009, 22:51 pm
@Langenhoven:
Don’t rush!
2 Dec 2009, 22:58 pm
ho hum.
another night of racial bickering.
let it go people.
2 Dec 2009, 22:59 pm
@charo: @233
I never expect you to ‘get’ anything so Im no better or worse off. Oh yipee, Waka has a sp in his spiel about cancer, lets somehow turn that into a pisstake on the ABs.
Desperate times for new material these days isnt it.
2 Dec 2009, 23:03 pm
@WakaNathan: ag, you spelt it wrong.
get over yourself you pompous twat.
for once a “oh ja, i made a mistake, good one” would suffice.
your one upmanship must be tiring when the family gather for christmas…or the manne gather round the fire….or when you open your mouth and your eyes at the same time every day.
take it away now.
2 Dec 2009, 23:04 pm
i am off.
bored.
2 Dec 2009, 23:11 pm
@cab: i’m not sure how big their stake in HSM is, but those fellows are steady. They’re also standard bank’s BEE partners, Jaco Maree & Saki = peas in a pod. Standard bank bought shares in Safika Holdings, so these cats can never go down, the money just revolves and HSM must be part of that chain.
2 Dec 2009, 23:12 pm
@rangerman:
2 Dec 2009, 23:15 pm
292. whatever… I know you care darling
297. rangerman… It always gets exciting when I arrive..you are gonna miss out mate
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