Keo.co.za tour diary – Week 2
29 Aug 2010
Legends hit by bird poop, singing props and always betting on black. It’s been an interesting week folks.
Thankfully it ended with a Springbok victory, a flawed one, but after the rubbish served up to date we’ll take it. The victory, however, was not nearly as ugly as the masks handed out at Loftus with Big Vic’s mug on it.
Now by rugby player standards the Springbok lock is pretty decent looking in a medieval, d’Artagnan sorta way. However, the masks they mass produced for his 100th Test did him a gross injustice. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still striking enough so that the missus will yank it out for a bout of role-play to fulfil a long-held fantasy, but if I was the big guy I’d want them burned asap. He had rotten luck this week, with the masks preceded by a spiteful bird landing a bum-bomb right in his lap during a live broadcast of his press conference on Friday.
Not nearly as ugly was Toks van der Linde’s rendition of the national anthem. OK, so the former Springbok prop got a little carried away early on, staring deeply into the eyes of the petite blond who was partnering him, in a manner that reminded one of Peabo Bryson serenading Regina Belle in the music video from that early 90s ballad A whole new world.
But Van der Linde was impressive, with veteran rugby writer Gavin Rich describing it as ‘the best performance by a Western Province player at Loftus since 1997′. Classic.
Spending a week and a half with Rich, whom we’ve dubbed the Jeremy Clarkson of rugby writing because of his appreciable knowledge of, and obsession with, the game, has been stimulating, educational, perplexing and painful. His rants about the Boks kept Cardinelli and myself well entertained. His greatest gift, though, is his ability to conduct an radio interview in a four-wheel drive with one hand on gear-and-steer duty on the death roads of Jozi.
Rich was a passive observer when the Vegas-hardened Cardinelli introduced me to roulette at Monte Casino. Now Cardinelli is to gambling what the Lions are to rugby, cavalier and entertaining, but dreadfully inconsistent. I was the 2009 Boks, pragmatic but highly successful. This was until he decided my table was ‘hot’. I was dragged into his high-risk, high-reward approach, attacking from my own 5m line with bets on the outside – odd and red, even and black, 1-12 and odd and black – eish! Red had been my banker, but Cardinelli ruined everything. I’d made enough money to make some bad decisions involving Eastern Europeans and not regret it in the morning, but lost most of it. After a hot streak he too was down to his last grand or so, and with Rich tugging at his arm to leave, he bet it all on … red. Always bet on black. The look on his face when that little dream killer landed on ’12 Black’ was priceless.
Another man short on a few bob is old Peter de Villiers, who has banned this website and SA Rugby magazine more times than courts in LA have banned Britney Spears from seeing her children. We shared a special moment at Monday’s press conference when I asked him if first prize was bringing BJ, Butch and Frans back from Europe. ‘Hey, I don’t have that kind of money man,’ he said in his usual animated manner. ‘If I did I’d buy a lot of players. If I had that kinda money I’d even buy you,’ he said pointing at me. ‘Not a chance,’ came the rebuttal, to which De Villiers responded by mumbling something sinister under his breath.
Cardinelli is off to Bloem where he’ll be met by keo.co.za writer Grant Ball, whose hair is now so prolific it has its own postal code. Here’s wishing the boys luck in finding ways to avoid the legendary guesthouse breakfast that includes fried orange juice. I’m heading back to the Mother City. Jozi you’ve been great, goodnight!
By Ryan Vrede, in Johannesburg
Follow SA Rugby mag on Twitter
41 Comments
29 Aug 2010, 12:16 pm
“missus will yank it out for a bout of role-play to fulfil a long-held fantasy”
the mind boggles!
29 Aug 2010, 12:32 pm
Vrede I had no idea you were gambling at Monte Casio – had I known I would have come over to introduce you to my paw.
29 Aug 2010, 12:47 pm
I thought Monte Casino was a 1000 year old Monastery in Italy.
In WW2, the scene of heartbreak and tactical ineptitude by the Allies.
The War graves of thousands of young Germans, Indians, Yanks, Kiwis and many others, bear witness to folly of war.
Yet to others,
it is merely a “bet on black”.
29 Aug 2010, 12:48 pm
@RedLion is born again(RL)-2: LOL! The day a kid from the Cape flats is ‘pawed’ by a Jozi boy will be a sad day indeed.
29 Aug 2010, 12:53 pm
@Panzer Chief(cane)-3: MonteCasino is by far one of the starngest places in South Africa. This weird Tuscan monster right off the N1 with this strange half light in the casino and painted ceilings that supposedly look like a Tuscan sunset/sunrise. Very very odd.
Like Disneyland for low income low brainers.
29 Aug 2010, 13:31 pm
29 Aug 2010, 13:44 pm
@Ryan(Ryan)-4: you wish you were from the ‘flats’…
29 Aug 2010, 13:46 pm
@goyougoodthing2(goyougoodthing2)-5:
Went to a rugby breakfast earlier this year after the Boks had played Italy in a small town called Udine. Cobbled roads, centuries old town, washing hanging outside.
Matthew Pearce was the MC. He said, one Bok who shall remain nameless, said this place reminds me of Montecasino.
29 Aug 2010, 14:02 pm
@Transformation(Transformation)-7: ok
29 Aug 2010, 14:14 pm
@I am a stormer(I am a stormer)-8: ha ha ha ha.
29 Aug 2010, 14:55 pm
snotty nosed pipe dream prima donna journalistas trying to act super Cool Handed Luke at the roulette tables meanwhile they nothing but snotty nosed weedy whitey gatkruipertjies with very little between their ears, or their legs by sound of things, if one were to take this article as anything worth anything rugby related to go by at all, especially the smug arselicking tendencies toward that ratty Richy Rich ranter and their anti Pdv agenda laced longknived luminousity. Pretty much par for the course recognizing where this pitiful two faced palefaced smugness emanates from, these silver spoon fed petty palookas hob nobbing with the Rich’s and the White’s of this world while the real rugby heritage actually rests with the salt of the earth types ala PDivvy and his charges, not these snot nosed leacherous lightie garbage writing woosie wannabee arselicker brigands.
29 Aug 2010, 15:04 pm
snotty nosed pipe dream prima donna journalistas trying to act super Cool Handed Luke at the roulette tables meanwhile they nothing but snotty nosed weedy whitey gatkruipertjies with very little between their ears, or their legs by sound of things, if one were to take this article as anything worth anything rugby related to go by at all, especially the smug arselicking tendencies toward that ratty Richy Rich ranter and their anti Pdv agenda laced longknived luminousity.
Now that Folks ……………….is one hell of sentence!
Hi Skoppie,
29 Aug 2010, 15:24 pm
hiya bro Cane, keep keeping it real, those with true to life agendas such as yourself are relatively few and far between this neck of the woods.
29 Aug 2010, 16:00 pm
i noticed last night every time the wallybies kicked to us to restart the game they always kicked to habana. is he our weak link ?
29 Aug 2010, 16:07 pm
@klippies101(klippies101)-14: Well it worked, led directly to one try and he gave away another.
Looking for glory instead of putting in the hard yards.
29 Aug 2010, 16:58 pm
@skopskiet(yliad)-11: Hi Captain Haddock, where is Tintin?
29 Aug 2010, 17:31 pm
@skopskiet(yliad)-11:
?: geez that was harsh and unkind.
29 Aug 2010, 18:18 pm
@skopskiet(yliad)-11:
where do you come from? It must be either be a really funny place or some place sad … like a mental institution. Mate you must become a Lion cause we need people like you to fight the fight against the anti-lions.
29 Aug 2010, 18:27 pm
@skopskiet(yliad)-11: Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is clear evidence that we need to replace the “prima donna journalistas” aka rats, prancing at the bottom of this page in all their snotty smugness, with some of the faithful followers of the game that visit this site.
Simon, Jon, Ryan, Grant, Please could your collective head out of your asses.
That sentence, not to even mention the rest of the paragraph,
was the best writing I’ve seen posted on this site in quite some time.
PS: Ryan – What a crock of shi!te!
29 Aug 2010, 18:27 pm
@Treehugger(Treehugger)-6: Hello ryan.
29 Aug 2010, 18:43 pm
@skopskiet(yliad)-11: Now it’s this sort of posting that makes this blog special…….
29 Aug 2010, 18:44 pm
@skopskiet(yliad)-11: “Keeping It Real”.
I am sure if we digitized your prose it would come out like a Jackson Pollock painting.
On the other hand if you digitized mine, it would be a Graeme Pollock cover drive.
29 Aug 2010, 21:10 pm
John Smit, Bryan Habana, Victor Matfield – they all need a well deserved break!!
STARTING XV:
1 Steenkamp
2 Bissy DUP
3 Jannie DUP
4 Flip VD Merwe
5 (not sure who to put here, Can Danie play No 5)
6 Louw
7 Smith
8 Spies
9 Hougaard
10 Butchie
11 Aplon
12 De Villiers
13 Fourie
14 Pietersen
15 F Steyn
16 Rallepelle
17 Beast
18 Matfield
19 Potgieter
20 Ricky (only one avialable)
21 M Steyn
22 De Jongh
29 Aug 2010, 21:54 pm
@skopskiet(yliad)-11: Some people slur when they hit the sauce. Others swear. You seem to alliterate. Cute.
29 Aug 2010, 21:54 pm
@The Shark Supporter(The Shark Supporter)-23: Only Ricky???
Jano Vermaak
Charl Macleoud
Tewis de Bruyn
Ross Cronje
Rory Kocket
Sarel Pretorius
Dewaldt Duvenhage
Conrad Hoffmann
My mother in law
29 Aug 2010, 22:27 pm
Seriously, what is this Dirty kak all about? Wasn’t Keo blurting on about why do Rugby players have to tell everyone on Twitter where they drink their coffee? Two days later he Tweets about him “chilling and what TV episodes he is watching”? Huh, somehow chatting about what TV you are watching is cooler and more acceptable than what TV shows you are watching? Boston Legal? Really?
Now we have to read about where the journos hang out before and after games? That is what Micro blogging is for fella. Going to Joburg for a night is not exactly worthy of a Diary and Journal is it?
29 Aug 2010, 23:01 pm
This must be one of the oddest and funniest comments I have read on keo, thanks skoppie, cane, sodajoe, katman, jl1 and rl. I almoust wet my shorts.
30 Aug 2010, 00:02 am
@katman(katman)-24: and hyperventilate.
30 Aug 2010, 00:04 am
@JA-JA(JA-JA)-27: He’s lost the pithyness worthy of Tshirts, but has graduated beyond fu’cadilly bananashorts to an unintelligible muse that is so abstract it’s worthy of a Wikipedia listing and a personal CIA/NASA operative to decipher it for us people on planet Earth.
30 Aug 2010, 00:38 am
skop went in on their high falutin’ ways
30 Aug 2010, 03:52 am
lol, to read some of these coments at this time of the day is surprisingly just too damn funy. I recogn just for amusement purposes this site should post a “the best 100 skop specials”:-)
30 Aug 2010, 04:49 am
@skopskiet(yliad)-11:
Classic racist rant by skopdoos…….now if anyone had to substitute “whitey” and “palefaced” with there opposite then all hell would break loose ne?
30 Aug 2010, 05:12 am
@skopskiet(yliad)-11: Taken the dog deworming pills instead of your anti-psychotic meds again, pilgrim? Buy some decent spectacles.
30 Aug 2010, 05:52 am
Some more past players getting stuck into the poor reffing and manipulation of the system by
Paddy Doos.
News24
And yet the dubious officiating of the (mostly) northern hemisphere referees and touch judges in Bok matches this season goes on.
Now not for a second do I think South Africa would suddenly be looking a million dollars if it weren’t for a catalogue of infuriatingly skewed calls against them.
Yet rank refereeing inconsistency, especially in the area of foul play, continues to dog them and I was so pleased that Breyton Paulse animatedly revisited the Ben Franks shoulder charge (er, sorry, apparently wholly permissible clean-out, Mr Owens?) on Juan de Jongh in the Soweto thriller against the All Blacks last weekend.
Koue Bokkeveld farm lad Paulse will be remembered as fairly soft-spoken, unassuming and even introverted during his playing career, but he has notably come out of his shell as he gains experience as a TV pundit.
And there was no holding him back when KykNet’s SuperRugby chat programme on Monday re-ran the Franks incident.
It seemed clear as the living daylight that the All Blacks tighthead led with his shoulder — or at least very high upper arm — as he smashed into a prone De Jongh at a ruck.
The tenacious centre took the blow smack in the proverbial chops yet didn’t make a meal of it, to his credit. (His “reward”, needless to say, was no action being taken against the offender whatsoever.)
“If that had been Bakkies … 10 weeks,” said Paulse forthrightly and only in very, very partial jest as studio allies Kobus Wiese and Ashwin Willemse nodded in resigned agreement.
He also queried, again rightly, the fact that the Bok camp did not appear to make a post-match issue out of it.
SuperRugby replayed another incident in which, after a collision between the two near a corner flag, Richie McCaw appeared to poke Schalk Burger unnecessarily in the face. One wonders what the (again unmoved) officials might have done had the incident occurred the other way around?
Mccaw strikes Burger in the eyes more like it/ Not to forget the scratch marks under Smits and Flips eyes.
Thank-you Breyton for highlighting the obvious that the proprovince/anitbulls journos here refused to acknowledge unless its agianst there pet team then we here the whinging.
Cheating lead to foul play.
30 Aug 2010, 06:02 am
@KevinRack(KevinRack)-34:
Yeah, there was also an incident when the replacement lock Whitelock did a clean out and lead with the head. Just to make sure he had a second go with the head. Can’t recall who the prone Bok player was (I will check the replay), but this was also not picked up.
30 Aug 2010, 06:49 am
@skopskiet(yliad)-11:
Or………… Maybe they just went out for a beer or two.
30 Aug 2010, 07:15 am
@TheTackler(TheTackler)-33:
You can not legally buy strong enough pills for that bloke…not even with a doctor’s prescription!
30 Aug 2010, 07:47 am
@Transformation(Transformation)-7: LOL true hy is van parkwood !!
30 Aug 2010, 08:03 am
@Transformation(Transformation)-7: Laaities vannie Flats dont cry like Ryan Vrede
30 Aug 2010, 08:30 am
The Keo journos must be laughing their arses off at some of the people who live on this site, unable to form real relationships in the big world and thinking this place is real life
Nice read though Ryan. I enjoyed it.
31 Aug 2010, 01:08 am
It seems (to me) that Habana is wearing boots to enhance his diminishing pace at the expense of traction.. He should test them (his boots) on the playing surface before the game starts. His footwork/foothold seemed to be a problem in both instances where he erred.
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